My Religion

"What religion am I?"
For a long time, I struggled with this question. But as time passed, I realized it wasn't the religion part of the question that was the struggle for me, but how I was choosing to answer.

BACKGROUND
I was raised Christian. Both my parents were raised Catholic. However our family attended the Episcopal Church for most of my childhood. When I was in late middle school, my parents and us kids made the switch back over to Catholicism. But as I started to become an adult, I put into use a lesson I had learned along the way....to question things. So I started questioning things; all sorts of things, not just my religious beliefs. But this was certainly an area of significant interest to me. The more I thought about religion and challenged what I had learned as well as my own beliefs, I found myself coming up with a growing number of questions, and a shrinking number of answers.

Until very recently, I still identified myself as a Christian when asked. What does this mean? It means that while I've done a good amount of growing in the area of spirituality and religious philosophy, I haven't focused enough on how I present myself to others. To call myself a Christian is a lie. Although I have many more questions than before I started this spiritual journey, I've come up with several key answers that clearly identify me as NOT Christian. Once I got to that point (a handful of years ago), I did some searching in hopes of being able to identify with some religion. I really craved (and still do) that association with people of similar belief. As a result of my research, I did briefly associate myself with a named religion (or quasi-religion). I considered myself a transcendental universalist...for a few days. Then I called myself a secular humanist for another few days. I also contemplated calling myself a naturalist. In each case, it didn't feel right. My beliefs didn't truly align with any of them. Since then, I've abandoned the search for a name to my "religion" and focused my attention on the ideas and thoughts themselves that work together to form my belief system. And given what my beliefs are, perhaps it's quite appropriate that I don't associate with a named religion after all.

MY BELIEFS
*I do not believe in Jesus Christ as the son of God, messiah, etc. He may have existed as a man, but in either case it has no bearing on my beliefs.

*I don't believe that there is a predetermined plan for each of us.

*I don't believe that when we die, there are different paths we take based on how we lived in this life. (i.e. heaven and hell)

*I lean toward thinking there is no afterlife, but am open to the possibility that there may be something that comes after death. And since I acknowledge the possibility, of course I hope it is true.

*If there is an afterlife, then I believe all life on Earth is subject to it regardless of religion or even species.

*If there is an afterlife, I don't believe anything differently happens to those who believe in it compared to those who don't.

*I don't believe that humans are in any way more "important" than other animals. Our consciousness sets us apart from other species, but I don't believe it means we are closer to divinity as a result.

*I do believe that there is life on other planets. I have no expectations or assumptions about what that life may be like.

*I do believe that there is more than we can see and understand. There seem to be too many amazing coincidences and events for there not to be something more to the story. How big is the universe? How did all this come to be?

*I get the feeling that there is something larger than us that understands more than we do. For lack of a better name, I refer to this as God. And for all I know, there may even be more than one "being" that is larger than us in this way. They may be equals, or some may be "higher" than others.

*If there is a "God" as I've described, I do not believe that it has infinite abilities.

*I believe that the "meaning of life" for humans is the same as for all other species....Survival.

*I don't believe that any one "religion" has it all figured out. I think that mystery, speculation, and man's ability to fill in gaps has resulted in the different religions that history has known. That being said, I also think that there is some amount of truth to every religion.

GUIDING PRINCIPLESI've come up with some principles that, based on my beliefs, would be wise to follow. They encourage a healthy balance on different levels. As with most any religion, putting your values into practice isn't, and shouldn't be, easy. While I've come up with these principles, adhering to each and every one of them on a daily basis is a huge challenge; one that I freely admit I need to do better at.

Interspecies Principles for Humanity
(how we as a species relate to the rest of the world)

1. Because we have the ability to cause harm on so many levels, we have the responsibility to control ourselves and act in the best interest of all life on Earth. On the flip side, we also have the ability, and therefore the responsibility, to live sustainably, peacably, and in harmony with the planet and its inhabitants.

2. We should grow and better ourselves as a society, but always keeping in mind that knowledge is power, and power is dangerous.

3. The more we keep the long-term survival of our co-habitants on this planet in mind, the more we will help to ensure our own long-term survival.

4. The more we stay on the same page within our species, the easier it will be to remain on the same page. For example, a World Peace Treaty might not be a bad idea.

Interspecies Principles for Individuals
(how we as individuals relate to the rest of the world)

1. Animals harm and kill members of other species out of hunger or fear. But humans harm and kill members of other species also out of inconvenience and for sport. From deforestation to killing a spider in the kitchen to fishing for fun, it happens all the time. However it is never ok.

2. Live within your means. If you can increase your means, by all means change how you live. But don't live beyond your means.

3. The Golden Rule, modified. Treat other species the way you would have them treat you.

Interpersonal Principles for Individuals
(how we as individuals relate to each other)

1. The Golden Rule. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

2. We can learn as many lessons from our children as we teach them. But just like our children, we have to be willing to learn.

3. Diversity is one of our society's greatest attributes. We should not only allow, but embrace the differences that set us apart. This includes religious differences.

4. As parents, we must be mentor, disciplinarian, and friend to our children. It is critical that we be all three. Otherwise, our children are missing out on a crucial part of the parent/child relationship.

5. As spouses, we must be supportive, patient, flexible, compassionate, and open with our partners. We must also be a friend, which encompasses everything from being silly to giving/taking constructive criticism.

6. Show love to your loved ones. Affection helps build and sustain the special bond that can only exist for those closest to our hearts.

Intrapersonal Principles for Individuals
(how we as individuals relate to ourselves)

1. Your actions don't define you. But it is up to you to make your actions reflect who you are. If you don't, the incongruity between your actions and your true self will hold you back, as others can only associate you with the identity you present them with.

2. Make time for personal reflection. Whether it be in the form of prayer, meditation, or some other means, gaining perspective on your life and your decisions is key in living as the person you are.

3. Acknowledge the negative, but don't dwell on it. You can be both optimistic and realistic at the same time. Positivity thinking is contageous.

4. Enjoy life and contribute to the world in some way. We only have so long to make the most of the time that is given to us.

CONCLUSION
Subscribers of most religions would say that their belief in some sort of afterlife gives their life meaning and purpose. Once I realized that I didn't necessarily believe in any sort of afterlife, I had to do some serious thinking. Without that belief, what motivation is there to live a good, healthy, productive life? Once I came to understand my belief of life being about Survival on multiple levels, it was only a few short steps before I had all the motivation I needed to not only merely survive, but to live a wonderful life. It's very easy to live well when you keep in mind that how you live has an impact on not only the people your life touches, but for future generations, as well as the world you leave for them to live in. I believe I'll be able to die in peace even without any solid belief in an afterlife, provided I feel good about the life I've led and knowing I've done my part well in contributing to the survival of my loved ones, the human species, the balance between humans and other species, and the Earth.

Now that I have a child of my own, I wonder how we will raise her. What will we tell Asha about religion? What values will we try to enstill in her? Rina and I haven't done a lot of thinking about about it yet. After all, our daughter is 5 months old. But I want her to know that different people believe different things. I want her to be able to combine her own intellect and reasoning with the knowledge she picks up along the way, so that she can arrive at her own beliefs. I think that will give her the best chance to find her own ideas about all these mysterious and wonderful things. And that is a very happy thought.

I'm back! And this time, I brought a baby!

Since it's been 26 months since my last blog post, I figure it's time for a new one. Now what to write about? Like any new parent, the first thing that pops into my mind is my baby. So like every new parent, that's what this blog will be about. So if you don't like babies, or just don't like MY baby, now's your chance to click away from this page before you regret reading further.

As this is my first blog about Asha, who is already 4-1/2 months old, I'm going to just write one huge paragraph about things she likes, hates, things she does, etc.

Asha likes putting everything in her mouth. She doesn't like being read to when she's tired. She sings, or it seems like singing anyway. She doesn't know her times tables yet. She has slept through the night ever since 2 days before her 3 month birthday. She mostly sleeps in the car, otherwise she just looks around a lot. Except for a couple times at the beginning to see if she'd like it, she hasn't used a pacifier. However, she will use Daddy's finger quite often. Asha has an innie. Her eyes are still blueberry blue, and her hair is light brown/dirty blond, although both may change over the next 6 months or so. She likes hearing the sound of her legs stomping on the mattress. She never liked having her arms swaddled. We swaddled her for awhile, but she always managed to get her arms free. She can roll onto her front and then back again. Usually she rolls to the right. We think Asha is a lefty. She loves playing the piano, or at least hitting the keys and hearing the noise it makes. Since we've taken many thousands of photos of her already, she is very used to the camera. She seems to know what the baby monitor camera is. We'll wake up and find her in a strange contorted position so that she's able to stare directly into the monitor. It's quite freaky. She gets a lot of toejam from her socks. She gets some boogers, but not too many. She likes to be moving more than staying still. As a result, she's not much of a cuddler....unless she's tired. She has been scared a couple times when seeing certain men. We're still figuring out what it is about them that scares her. Maybe certain features? It might be facial hair, althout since I have facial hair quite often, I'd think she'd be ok with it. She likes whistling. She loves music. Even as a brand new baby, she'd immediately pay full attention when being sung to. She has tasted grapes, and seems to like it. She likes animals. She doesn't mind bathtime. Asha stares at Rina and I when we eat. We'll give her real food soon. Mashed sweet potatoes will be first. She pretty much doesn't cry. Even though they are very small, her feet stink sometimes. She grew 6 inches in her first 4 months. I don't know if that's unusual, but it's funny that she has basically grown by the height of her head since being born. She has a flat spot on the back of her head and might need to wear a helmet for a couple of months. We'll find out in a couple of days what the story is with that. She likes to flail her arms, scratching anything her razor-like fingernails come in contact with...especially Mommy's face. When she's tired, she squeals a lot. She left the hospital weighing 6 pounds, 3 ounces. 4 weeks later, she weighed exactly 10 pounds.